Leader Qualities

Home John 3:16 10 Commands Broken 10 Will Jesus Accept ME What must I do to be saved Sanctuary Tent Hidden sins 2 Roads Road Rage Advent Hope Bible Forgiveness Attitudes laromBible lessons Let It Shine Gods Deliverances Garden Lessons Organic Gardening Delicious Recipies Cancer Causing Foods Healthy & Feeling Good Insect Collecting Stories Last Day Events Daniel Studies Lifestyle Thanksgiving Christmas Promises for special needs Ezekiel stories Materials Available Search Leader Qualities About the Author Wildflower Gallery Rainbow Signs Jacob Sheep

Several times in the Bible God gave stories of picking people to do things.

Since no one is perfect, you might wonder what it is that made God choose Mary to train up baby Jesus. What did He look at when he chose David from the 7 sons of Jesse. What made God pick the different people like Daniel and Joseph to share the richest secrets of heaven with.  God says He looks on the heart. He knows all the secrets and He knows what we think about. Man looks on the outward appearance. Man picks the tall, best looking, dignified, elegant and those that are popular. What is God looking at? Does He give any clues?

What Does God say about picking His leaders for His church?

In the work of setting things in order in all the churches, and ordaining suitable men to act as officers, the apostles held to the high standards of leadership outlined in the Old Testament Scriptures. They maintained that he who is called to stand in a position of leading responsibility in the church "must be blameless, as the steward of God; not self-willed, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; but a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers." Titus 1:7-9. {AA 95.2}

2 Timothy Chapter 3 

3:1 This [is] a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 
3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 
3:3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 
3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 
3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) 
3:6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. 
3:7 Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. 
3:8 Likewise [must] the deacons [be] grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre; 
3:9 Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience. 
3:10 And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being [found] blameless. 
3:11 Even so [must their] wives [be] grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things. 
3:12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. 
3:13 For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus. 

Here is a great big clue:

He who enters Christ's army must obey His orders. He has placed himself under the Saviour's leadership, and he is to give Him willing obedience. He is to speak no word, perform no act, that would misrepresent the high and holy principles by which the kingdom of heaven is to be governed. 
{ST, August 30, 1905 par. 7}

If you do not obey all the light God has given you, He does not share more light for you to disobey. He needs soldiers that are obedient and listening for His marching orders. You can be this soldier if your are child, teen, woman or man.

All the directions God has given are to bring the most happiness to people. If you pick and choose what you want to obey, God is not pleased with you. You cannot be a good soldier.

God has given directions on diet so that we will be more healthy and it will be easier obey. Adam and Eve fell on this point and had to leave the garden.

God has given directions on how to keep the 7th day Sabbath, starting from a half hour before sunset, welcoming Him with song and spending the day studying His ways in nature, Bible and in prayer. He has asked that the day be carefully guarded from activities of business and worldly matters and play. He asks that we help suffering ones, and rest on His sacred day. When a half hour past the sunset hour is over, we are again to sing to Him and read His Word and pray. 

God has given directions for careful use of time every day looking for ways to share the gospel, caring for our families and helping others. Our time belongs to God. He watches how we use it. We are not to use our time in playing games of killing and building castles and waste the precious hours where we could be memorizing the Bible or helping others.

Leadership in home and church
John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 
13:35 By this shall all [men] know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. 

Love Changes a Drunk

One amazing story was told which has spoken to me so many times. A sweet Christian lady was married to a selfish drunken man. So often he would come home at one or two in the morning after being out in the taverns. He was so mean when he was drunk. He would order his wife out of bed to fix him something to eat. She sweetly got up and fixed good things for him.

One day he brought a friend home with him. The friend watched as the wife was ordered out of bed. She noticed she had a guest to cook for too. She straightened her hair and put on a nice dress. 

She hurried to make a very nice meal. Her face glowed with love. She was humming a little tune as she did her best at 2 in the morning. Her body ached to get back to sleep. Not one complaint came from her lips. She looked so unselfish and loving. 
She set the table so pretty with such a nice table cloth. A candle brightened the center as the food was cooking, she did all she could to make things attractive in her unkempt run down dwelling. There were so many things the husband needed to fix. The faucet leaked and mold grew under the sink, the cupboard door wouldn't shut because it needed fixing.  The roof was sagging from where it leaked. Yet she did her best to make things beautiful. She had covered the gaping holes in the floor with a mat and a remnant of linoleum that looked like wood flooring she had found for just a few dollars. She had a sweet smile on her face and kept singing as she worked to make the best meal she could with what she had.
It was too much to watch. The friend got up and went home. He was so embarrassed. As she invited her husband to the nicely set table with the special table cloth on it, she found him crying. He asked her why she was so nice to him.
She answered that she loved him. She said that since he refused to change his ways, she knew he would never get to enjoy the beauties and love of heaven so she was determined he should not miss out completely. She was going to give him all that she could. It would be the only heaven he would ever get.

This demonstration of heaven's love broke his heart. He accepted Jesus into his heart right there.


These are the qualities of a leader: A heart set on helping to reclaim and mend the broken people. 

This lady was the leader though she never thought of it that way. She was hospitable. She was not given to anger or she would have screamed at the man who demanded she leave her bed at 1AM and cook a meal. She was unselfish. She allowed her own reputation to be nothing. She gave out heaven's love instead of trying to punish her husband for his bad behavior. She could have left him as so many do. Her own reputation was at a nothing because of her husband's actions. Why did she not leave and start over as so many do? Her goal was to give out heaven's love unselfishly and save her husband. The husband is to do this for his family and the church. He is to seek to lift the broken, not exalt himself. He is to earnestly pray for ways to bring salvation to all in his home and church like this humble lady did.
Prejudice is melted away by the love of God.--Review and Herald, Jan. 21, 1896;
To love as Christ loves, lifts the mind into a pure, heavenly, unselfish atmosphere.--Testimonies, vol. 9, p. 209. {2SM 487.1}

She knew the Bible said God wanted her husband to love her. She knew that her drunken husband had done nothing to deserve her love. With the miracle of the love of heaven, she loved unconditionally.

She hoped in this verse: 1 Corinthians 7:13  And the woman which hath an husband that believes not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 
7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband:...7:16 For how will you know, O wife, whether thou will save [your] husband? or how do you know, O man, whether thou will save [your] wife? 
7:17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. 

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 

Husbands should be willing to put aside their own plans in order to lead their wife and family to a closer walk with Jesus. Jesus was willing to live in poverty and die on the cross to win souls. The true leader of the home should be like Jesus.

Deut.10:19 Love ye therefore the stranger: for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.  Many are strangers in their own home. They come and go with only their own interest in mind. These are to be loved too. Set aside your feelings against their behavior as undeserving and ask Jesus to help you look at them with "your Father's eyes". Like Esther, perhaps you were chosen to win this person for Jesus also. Pray for God to grant you the gift of love.
I am convinced that there are so many addictions in this life tempting people to keep from giving love to others. Satan uses these to trap God's leaders. These addictions cripple the hearts of gifted people that are popular and who would have been good leaders. Those who deserve our greatest gentle attentions and love seldom get it. People who are longing to hear the truth about God, never get to because the time has been squandered. Many forget that we are responsible for our time, money, talents, education, and everything God has given us.

These addicted ones need to be set free. They are bankrupt of the love supplies. Their families are bankrupt for love they should have given. Their families perish unless they learn to drink from heaven's river of life. The lady in the story above who cared for her drunk husband, knew Jesus could fill every heart desire for love. She learned from Jesus how to dish out heaven's love. 

  On one mission trip, my 8 year old son came running to me while I was setting up the evangelistic children's program for the evening. He had expected to find the evangelist for the adults in prayer, Bible study, or in visiting those who were interested in salvation, or looking for more to invite to the gospel meetings like we did every day. Instead, he found him daily playing games on his computer, and site seeing, spending money to see museums and tour about. Only in the evenings did he act interested in sharing the Bible truth. My son was much disturbed over what he saw. As a child, he drew conclusions that the man never dreamed a child could make about him.

Jesus is the fountain of all love and joy and peace. If you live with people who never give you love, you can always find love. It comes in an abundant supply from Jesus the fountain of life. Every day you can go to Him and read His words in the Bible, pray to Him and watch Him treat you so special. He is just waiting for you to ask Him for things.
Leadership in home and church

There are women who obey their husband because they have been taught to do this. Some husbands force the wife to stay home from church, from mission trips, from giving food to the poor, orphans, or to missionaries. Some husbands refuse to return tithe. They think they deserve all the money they earn and it should be used only for themselves. These are often men held in high regard in their church as very godly people. God sees not as man sees. The Lord looks on the heart. I have seen people who wanted to give to missions and their husband flies into a rage and she becomes afraid for her life. Even when the money is from her own earnings or an inheritance from a relative of hers, there are wild rages. It is Satan's studied plan to tie up the funds so missionaries cannot spread the gospel. As soon as the gospel reaches all the world, Jesus will come and Satan will burn in the fire. Satan wants to stop the spread of gospel so he tries all he can to prevent money from reaching the hands of willing missionaries.

Mathew10:36 And a man's foes [shall be] they of his own household. 
10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 
10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 
10:39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. 
10:40 He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me. 
10:41 He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward. 
10:42 And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold [water] only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward. 

Often the wife serves daily keeping the children clothed, fed, nurtured and he refuses her even a little money for her needs fearing she might give it to Jesus. Many wives have had to get jobs just to take care of their basic needs and that of their children. In the Bible story of David asking for food from Nabal and being refused, God makes a point of this cruelty by ending the life of selfish Nabal.  If Nabal had known that his wife Abigail was giving food to David he would have abused her harshly. She did her work in secret and in a great hurry. She asked David to forgive her husband's selfishness. She acted as Jesus would. God knows it all and sees everything. God took the life of selfish Nabal because there was no more hope of him ever acting in love. He gave honor to Abigail for how she put up with her husband's cruelty to her. (See story of Abigail in the section on  Bible forgiveness)

God says women and men are first responsible to the King of the Universe. He has created us and He  deserves our obedience and honor. If the husband  is  into pornography, secret sins,  gambling, drinking, and breaking the Sabbath she does not have to obey him or tell him all that God has asked her to do in mission work. God will provide the money for her to do this work. God will be her husband. The Bible says she can continue to shower husband with actions of love to win him for Jesus. The Bible has a promise that she might be able to win him if she does not give up. Abigail did not give up she just kept doing kind and loving things. Yet her husband refused God's love.

 If the husband is daily consecrating himself, studies the Bible daily, prays with his wife and shares Bible promises with her God can speak to her through him. If he  seeks to bring all his children to the cross,  and gently honors and cherishes his wife, helping her in home duties and in making life pleasant for her, then God expects her to submit to his wishes. But if the husband is doing wickedly his voice can not be as God's voice to her.

As a doctor I have heard the most cruel and inhumane stories from the lips of my patients suffering from the wickedness of men who pretend to be righteous and even hold positions in the church. I have locked these in confidentiality into my heart. God has seen it all. Women do not have to obey such men. There is no unity between those who love and obey God and one who pretends to love and obey God but is into pornography, games, gambling, killing with lying tongues,  drinking and rebellion. Their hatred is really against God, though they treat the God fearing wife with cruelty. Her example is a constant reminder to him that he is wrong. His rage is not about her sweet kind love but anger against God for he is rebelling inwardly.


"But it was not the design of God that the husband should have control, as head of the house, when he himself does not submit to Christ. He must be under the rule of Christ that he may represent the relation of Christ to the church. If he is a coarse, rough, boisterous, egotistical, harsh, and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that the husband is the head of the wife, and that she must submit to him in everything; for he is not the Lord, he is not the husband in the true significance of the term. . . . {AH 117.1}
Husbands should study the pattern and seek to know what is meant by the symbol presented in Ephesians, the relation Christ sustains to the church. The husband is to be as a Savior in his family. Will he stand in his noble, God-given manhood, ever seeking to uplift his wife and children? Will he breathe about him a pure, sweet atmosphere? Will he not as assiduously cultivate the love of Jesus, making it an abiding principle in his home, as he will assert his claims to authority? {AH 117.2}
Let every husband and father study to understand the words of Christ, not in a one-sided manner, merely dwelling upon the subjection of the wife to her husband, but in the light of the cross of Calvary, study as to his own position in the family circle. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word." Jesus gave Himself up to die upon the cross in order that He might cleanse and keep us from all sin and pollution by the influence of the Holy Spirit. {AH 117.3} Adventist Home by Ellen White

This is a spiritual kingdom, in which those who are most active in serving their brethren are the greatest. Christ's servants, under His direction, are to administer the affairs of His kingdom. They are to eat and drink at His table, that is, be admitted to near communion with Him.

     Those who search for worldly distinction and glory make a sad mistake. It is the one who denies self, giving to others the preference, who will sit nearest to Christ on His throne. He who reads the heart sees the true merit possessed by His lowly, self-sacrificing disciples, and because they are worthy He places them in positions of distinction, though they do not realize their worthiness and do not seek for honor. . . .

     God places no value on outward display or boasting. Many who in this life are looked upon as superior to others, will one day see that God values men according to their compassion and self-denial. . . . Those who follow the example of Him who went about doing good, who help and bless their fellow men, trying always to lift them up, are in God's sight infinitely higher than the selfish ones who exalt themselves.

     God does not accept men because of their capabilities, but because they seek His face, desiring His help. God sees not as man sees. He judges not from appearances. He searches the heart, and judges righteously. . . .

     He accepts and communes with His lowly, unpretentious followers; for in them He sees the most precious material, which will stand the test of storm and tempest, heat and pressure. Our object in working for the Master should be that His name may be glorified in the conversion of sinners. . . .

     Let us rejoice that the Lord does not measure the workers in His vineyard by their learning or by the educational advantages they have had. The tree is judged by its fruit. The Lord will cooperate with those who cooperate with Him.

God's Amazing Grace p. 67


II Leader Qualities 
Men and Women With Warm, 

Kind Hearts, 

Cool Heads,

 and Sound, Unbiased Judgment 

Strong Convictions

Clear Understanding


Strive to uplift and restore fallen humanity

At this time God's cause is in need of men and women who possess rare qualifications and good administrative powers; men and women who will make patient, thorough investigation of the needs of the work in various fields; those who have a large capacity for work; those who possess warm, kind hearts, cool heads, sound sense, and unbiased judgment; those who are sanctified by the Spirit of God and can fearlessly say, No, or Yea and Amen, to propositions; those who have strong convictions, clear understanding, and pure, sympathetic hearts; those who practice the words "All ye are brethren"; those who strive to uplift and restore fallen humanity.--Testimonies, Volume 7, p. 249. {9MR 145.1}
Leaders Should Have a Living Connection With God 
The converting power of truth needs to take hold upon human minds. Men who have been placed in positions of responsibility need to be worked by the Holy Spirit. But while self swells to large proportions, the Holy Spirit can make no impression upon human minds and hearts. . . . {9MR 145.2}
The leaders in our work should be men in such a living connection with God that they can understand His will, and preserve their integrity. The eternal principles of truth are to govern the households of those who have a part to act in the working out of the Lord's plans. In their families the study of the Bible should be given prominence, and its teachings should exert a decided influence. {9MR 145.3}
There is no position in life, no phase of human experience, that should not be influenced by the principles of the Word of God. It is to be studied and obeyed, in order to give to men in positions of trust a preparation to mold the work in right lines.--Letter 48, 1910, pp. 1-2. {9MR 145.4}
Amenable to Counsel 
Link up with your brethren, if you would have them link up with you, and give you their confidence. Confidence and faith will beget confidence and faith. You should gather into your confidence not only your ministering brethren but those with whom you are brought in contact, and show them that you have confidence, and that you believe that they are taught of God as much as you yourself are taught of God. Open your plans before them. One will be free to speak, and another will be free to speak, and they may call your attention to some things that you had not thought of before. {9MR 145.5}
God does not open everything to one mind, but he teaches one, and another, and still another. Men are to stand in God, and without having the fear of criticism constantly before them, they are to speak as God shall give them utterance, and to write as God shall dictate. After they have written their thoughts, let them be free to read their articles to their brethren, and let them receive any kindly word or caution that the brethren may see fit to offer in the spirit of brotherly kindness and love.--Letter 53, 1894, p. 8. {9MR 146.1}
Recognize Attributes of Laymen 
There is danger that ministers, that presidents of conferences, will take too much upon themselves and manifest too little confidence in the people. The people should be educated in such a way that they will search the Scriptures for themselves. The Holy Spirit is to work to mold every man after the similitude of Christ. Men have made a great mistake in not considering that God works through His church. Ministers should give ample encouragement to the individual members of the church and to those whom God shall select to do a special work in maturing thoughtful plans for the saving of the souls of those who are in error. {9MR 146.2}
Then there would be no contention, no one striving for the mastery, or seeking to secure the highest places. The Holy Spirit has much to teach the church when it becomes attentive to the voice of divine truth. The Lord would have the teachers of the church lead the people upward, and in no case give the impression that the people have no need to fulfill their individual responsibilities. {9MR 146.3}
If they will walk humbly with God, the Holy Spirit will teach them divine truth, and enable them to present the word with power. The apostle says, "We are labourers together with God: ye are God's husbandry, ye are God's building" (1 Corinthians 4:9).--Manuscript 1, 1895, p. 20. {9MR 146.4}

Are you willing to give your life for those you are a leader of?

Then you are following the example of Jesus.

Are you picking at and trying to find fault with those you lead? Are you seeking their honor? Are you telling lies about those you are leading and never looking carefully for what is truth, just believing what you hear about those you lead? Do you visit them and think of them as more valuable and honored than yourself no matter what their home and status of wealth or poverty might be? If you are a true leader for God and a true under shepherd you will agonize for those who need to be saved, encouraged, or sympathized with. Jesus knew how to agonize for his disciples, and all He created. You will forget your reputation and be friends of those broken and rejected in society, as well as the pious who are empty inside.

The Agonizing of Christ in Prayer


"And being in an agony He prayed more earnestly:  and His sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground."  Luke 22:44

"And being in an agony [of mind] He prayed [the] more earnestly and intently."  Amplified New Testament.

"While He---an agony of distress having come upon Him---prayed all the more with intense earnestness."  Weymouth.


Why did Christ agonize in prayer?


Christ reveals to angels His coming agony:  "He then made known to the angelic host that a way of escape had been made for lost man. . . . [He told them] that He would suffer dreadful hours of agony, which even angels could not look upon, but would veil their faces from the sight.  Not merely agony of body would He suffer, but mental agony, that with which bodily suffering could in no wise be compared.  The weight of the sins of the whole world would be upon Him."---Early Writings, pages 149,150

Christ's earthly suffering in the wilderness:  "When Jesus entered the wilderness, He was shut in by the Father's glory. . . . But the glory departed, and He was left to battle with temptation.  It was pressing upon Him every moment.  His human nature shrank from the conflict that awaited Him.  For forty days He fasted and prayed.  Weak and emaciated from hunger, worn and haggard with mental agony, 'His visage was so marred more than any man, and His form more than the sons of men.' "---The Desire of Ages, page 118

His suffering in Gethsemane:  "Behold Him contemplating the price to be paid for the human soul.  In His agony He clings to the cold ground, as if to prevent Himself from being drawn farther from God."---Ibid., p. 687

"Now had come the hour of the power of darkness.  Now His voice was heard on the still evening air, not in tones of triumph, but full of human anguish.

"The humanity of the Son of God trembled in that trying hour. . . . The awful moment had come---that moment which was to decide the destiny of the world."---Ibid., p. 690

The ultimate of agony at the cross:  "But now with the terrible weight of guilt He bears, He cannot see the Father's reconciling face.  The withdrawal of the divine countenance from the Saviour in this hour of supreme anguish pierced His heart with a  sorrow that can never be fully understood by man.  So great was this agony that His physical pain was hardly felt."---Ibid., p. 753

The Christian is to pray with great earnestness and sincerity:  "Be in earnest, be sincere.  Fervent prayer availeth much.  Jacob-like, wrestle in prayer.  Agonize.  Jesus, in the garden, sweat great drops of blood; you must make an effort."---Testimonies, vol. 1, p. 158

Agonizing without the surrender of self is useless:  "There are many souls who wrestle for special victories and special blessings that they may do some great thing.  To this end they are always feeling the they must make an agonizing struggle in prayer and tears. . . . All the agonizing, all the tears and struggles, will not bring them the blessings they long for.  Self must be entirely surrendered."---Ibid., vol. 9, p. 165 



Another woman like the story above honored her drunken husband, and like Jesus, she was willing to try to help her husband who had lost his way spiritually and was very mean and selfish. She was willing to take the risk of the rage of her husband and death at the hand of an angry man to stop the angry man from killing her husband.

1 Samuel 25
When David was a fugitive from the face of Saul, he had camped near the possessions of Nabal and had protected the flocks and the shepherds of this man. . . . In a time of need, David sent messengers to Nabal with a courteous message, asking for food for himself and his men, and Nabal answered with insolence, returning evil for good, and refusing to share his abundance with his neighbors. No message could have been more respectful than that which David sent to this man, but Nabal accused David and his men falsely in order to justify himself in his selfishness, and represented David and his followers as runaway slaves. When the messenger returned with this insolent taunt, David's indignation was aroused, and he determined to have speedy revenge.--21MR 213 (1891). {DG 42.1}
One of Nabal's servants hastened to Abigail, the wife of Nabal, after he had dismissed David's young men, and told her what had happened. "Behold," he said, "David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master; and he railed on them. But the men were very good unto us, and we were not hurt, neither missed we any thing, as long as we were conversant with them, when we were in the fields. They were a wall unto us both by night and day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep. Now therefore know and consider what thou wilt do; for evil is determined against our master, and against all his household."{DG 42.2}
Without consulting her husband or telling him of her intention, Abigail made up an ample supply of provisions, which, laded upon asses, she sent forward in the charge of servants, and herself started out to meet the band of David. She met them in a covert of a hill. "And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience." Abigail addressed David with as much reverence as though speaking to a crowned monarch. Nabal had scornfully exclaimed, "Who is David?" but Abigail called him, "my lord." With kind words she sought to soothe his irritated feelings, and she pleaded with him in behalf of her husband. With nothing
of ostentation or pride, but full of the wisdom and love of God, Abigail revealed the strength of her devotion to her household; and she made it plain to David that the unkind course of her husband was in no wise premeditated against him as a personal affront, but was simply the outburst of an unhappy and selfish nature.{DG 42.3}
"Now therefore, my lord, as the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the Lord hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal." Abigail did not take to herself the credit of this reasoning to turn David from his hasty purpose, but gave to God the honor and the praise. She then offered her rich provision as a peace offering to the men of David, and still pleaded as if she herself were the one who had so excited the resentment of the chief.--PP 665, 666 (1890).{DG 43.1}
Although Nabal had refused the needy company of David and his men, yet that very night he made an extravagant feast for himself and his riotous friends, and indulged in eating and drinking till he sunk in drunken stupor. The next day after the effects of his drunken debauch had somewhat passed away, his wife told him of how near he had been to death, and of how the calamity had been averted. As he listened, he realized what a course of evil would have resulted but for Abigail's discretion, and terror filled his heart. Palsied with horror, he sat down and never recovered from the shock.{DG 43.2}
From this history, we can see that there are circumstances under which it is proper for a woman to act promptly and independently, moving with decision in the way she knows to be the way of the Lord. The wife is to stand by the side of the husband as his equal, sharing all the responsibilities of life, rendering due respect to him who has selected her for his lifelong companion.--21MR 214, 215 (1891).{DG 43.3}
The Lord would have the wife render respect unto her husband, but always as it is fit in the Lord. In the character of Abigail, the wife of Nabal, we have an illustration of womanhood after the order of Christ, while her husband illustrates what a man may become who yields himself to the control of Satan.--21MR 213 (1891).{DG 43.4}