A Dream, A Text, A Song, and A Rainbow
I just have to share what Jesus did to lift my courage. This story is so special to me!
All day Sunday from 3AM till 11 AM I was on my face before the Lord. I did not eat. My daughter gave me warm water and grieved too. Why was He not doing what I thought God had directed me to prepare for? Why the delay? Have I blocked things by lack of faith or some sin? I pleaded all day with Jesus that He would open my eyes to the problem blocking the mission.. My suffering was intense. The day was dark and gloomy without much light. Rain drizzled. It was cold. The evening of Sunday May 16 I wept before the Lord asking if I had followed and understood His directions correctly. This delay test was so difficult for me. May 16, when I arrived at my place of prayer at 6pm, the clouds rolled back and a rainbow was seen. Then, I began to cry and asked Him why I was not yet in India. Immediately the clouds darkened and the light of the sun was gone with no remaining rainbow, the symbol of His presence. (Rev. 10:1)
It seemed to me that He was hurt that I doubted His leading of me. Immediately I asked forgiveness and prayed that He would strengthen my faith and never leave me. I asked my children to pray for my faith. In agony, they told me that my tears caused them pain. They prayed for my faith. Together, we reviewed the book of Mathew chapters 1-14 and then went to sleep. Early in the morning at time to rise, I awakened with a dream that I was speaking before enormous crowds of thousands. I saw the pastor who had invited me to speak in July. My response was an urgent need for God to help me over my fear. I was focusing on what I had to offer. The battle is not mine. I am just an instrument in the hands of the ONE WHO created the universe. "It is not by might or power but by His Spirit" that any work is done for heaven anyway. Our hope is not in our knowledge of the truth, and in our own ability, but in the living God .
As I awakened I wondered if the dream was from God or not, I prayed to God to give me the dream again so I could be sure it was from Him.
I got up to read my Bible. First, I knelt and asked God to direct my paths and teach me HIS ways. I asked for the Holy Spirit as I began to read Scripture. My Bible opened to Proverbs 3:6 “In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”
My eyes focused on comments on the verse. First, the words in red caught my eye, then I read the whole passage.
Prov. 3:6. God Guides Us in Doing His Will.—
“Has not God said He would give the Holy Spirit to them
that ask Him? and is not this spirit a real, true actual guide? Some men seem
afraid to take God at His word as though it would be presumption in them. They
pray for the Lord to teach us and yet are afraid to credit the pledged word of
God and believe we have been taught of Him. So long as we come to our heavenly
Father humbly and with a spirit to be taught, willing and anxious to learn, why
should we doubt God's fulfillment of His own promise? You must not for a moment doubt
Him and dishonor Him thereby. When you have sought to know His will, your
part in the operation with God is to believe that you will be led and guided and
blessed in the doing of His will. We may mistrust ourselves lest we misinterpret His
teachings, but make even this a subject of prayer, and trust Him, still trust
Him to the uttermost, that His Holy Spirit will lead you to interpret aright His
plans and the working of His providence.” (Letter
35, 1893). {3BC 1155.7}
It was Christ who guided the Israelites through the wilderness. And it is Christ who is guiding His people today, showing them where and how to work (Letter 335, 1904). {3BC 1156.1}
Those
thoughts were just turning about in my mind as I began my short journey to the
gravel pit to pray.On the way there, a
song just tumbled from my heart. It was put there by Jesus. I had not even
thought of singing a song. It was like heaven started it up. (Right in the
middle of the song on this very spot:J
“Can I doubt His tender mercies, who through life has been my Guide? Heavenly peace, Divinest comfort, Here by faith in Him to dwell; For I know what e’er befall me Jesus doeth all things well. For I know what e’er befall me Jesus doeth all things well.
When I got to my place of prayer another surprise was
awaiting me at 5:39 in the morning. A bright cloud to the right of the sun was
full of colors red, yellow, green blue and purple. The rainbow was a straight up
and down thing with the base of it
slender and the top kind of like a cross.
I returned quickly to awaken the children who had prayed for my faith the night before. I thanked them for praying and invited them into the warm car to come and see Jesus answering their prayers. I grabbed the hymnal and softly sang the whole hymn by Fanny Crosby to them as they gazed in wonder at the sky. I read the above passage to them. Of course, to a child, faith is easy. Why is it so hard for us adults? Jesus says we need the faith of children. (Hymn All the Way by Fanny Crosby 1875)
The evening before when we watched the Mathew DVD, we
particularly zeroed in on the story of the woman who reached out and touched the
hem of Jesus garment. I remembered Jesus tells us we can touch His hem too,
getting answers to our prayers. We do this by recounting back to Him all the
times He has blessed us in the past.
In an effort to increase my sagging courage,
I began to review. I reviewed a
few of the past miracles Jesus had done, and prayed for Him to increase my
faith. Some of the ones recalled were these: He raised Jenny from the dead at 4
months when she died of crib death. He cast out demons during meetings held in
India. He repaired my broken five hundred dollar projector bulb in India, He put
electricity in the building we were working in when the whole city was out of
power. He quieted a mob disturbing our meetings in the village we now want to
build a church. He parted the 30 angry men surrounding me planning to murder me
and gave me free passage to my taxi. He protected me when I fainted into the
arms of the brother of the man trying to murder me. He fed me in the presence of
my enemies (Psalms 23:5). After my faint, I awoke up with left arm pain,
shortness of breath and chest pain like an elephant was sitting on me. My
irregular heart beat told me I was having a heart attack. Jesus was right there
with His hand on me as my children placed their hands on me and prayed. When
they said AMEN, I could breath, and all pain was gone. A regular heart beat and
peace flooded my tired body. I began praying for the persecutors. God was right
there. He took responsibility for it all for He had asked me to do HIS work.
More stories of His answers to my prayers flooded my
heart as I continued to recall His mercies to me in my past journey of faith. He
healed my old AMC eagle car of oil leaks after 36 bottles of oil had been used.
He healed my car as I entered Mexico to do His command to spread the Gospel.
That car never leaked oil again for thousands of miles.
How could I doubt His tender mercy for HE had guided me
in doing His work. He kept boxes of Bible lessons dry that were soaked and
falling open in muddy water in Russia. He quieted my fears on a jolting train
ride in the Ukraine headed into an area where there was a dangerous uprising in
Moscow with news reports of deaths of foreigners. The raucous wild music
suddenly was replaced by gentle strains of “Going Home” and “People Need
the Lord” by Dino. Both Nan and I thought it was piped into our cabin direct
from heaven. We afterwards found the music on video recordings by Dino. The
train sounds are actually on the recording and we thought they were from the
train we were on. He escorted us safely
to our plane which had been cancelled yet was ready to take us when we got
there.
The belief in my heart burned within my bones as I recalled
how many times He had healed the sick as I worked to relieve suffering.
With these thoughts in the late evening, I fell asleep asking God for a
dream to help me have hope that I was still in His will even though this plan
for India seemed to be in DELAY MODE. Actually
though we want to see things move in the frame of our calendars, God has HIS own
schedule. He set the stars and planets in their orbits. “But like the stars in
the vast circuit of their appointed path, God's purposes know no haste and no
delay.” (DA 32) He had some special lessons of trust to teach me.
Just like Noah building the ark for 120 years preaching the coming flood, scorn and ridicule were his daily trials. It is written, “As it was in the days of Noah, so also shall it be in the day when the Son of Man cometh.” People are busy seeking pleasure, busy with duties of life, and scoff at the idea that there is a need to support missionaries with funds and prayers. Each one is to have a daily walk with God spending time alone with Him morning and evening.
Can I doubt His tender mercies, Who through life has been my GUIDE?
My favorite Christian author
says:
“The answer may appear to be delayed, but it is not so. The
petition is accepted, and the answer is given when it is essential for the best
of the petitioner, and when the fulfillment of the request will work most for
our eternal interest.”
_____________________________________________________________________
|
Grieving God by Doubting or Refusing To Carry the Cross |
God is very generous in presenting the costs of following Him. He lays it out and His workers can choose if they are willing. He does not promise it will be easy. He does promise He will provide strength and protection as long as His throne endures. He promises He will never leave us. (Mt. 28:20) He says our lives are in His hands and preserved until our work is completed on this earth. (EW 189.2) Early Writings by Ellen White
“The Lord is waiting to bestow rich blessing upon us if we will only comply with the conditions. We cannot glorify him while we cherish doubt. …All heaven is interested in their welfare, and their fear and repining grieve the Holy Spirit. Not because we see or feel that God hears us are we to believe. We are to trust His promises. . . . When we have asked for His blessing, we should believe that we receive it, and thank Him that we have it. Then we are to go about our duties, assured that the blessing will be sent when we need it most. {AG 216.3}
It is a serious thing to grieve the Holy Spirit; and it is grieved when the human agent seeks to work himself, and refuses to enter the service of the Lord because the cross is too heavy, or the self-denial too great. The Holy Spirit seeks to abide in each soul. If it is welcomed as an honored guest, those who receive it will be made complete in Christ. {AG 216.4}Over the days and months after the dream I focused on the different aspects of the dream.. At first there was the earnest desire to have courage to speak then to have supplies for the numbers of people. Then on my face before the Lord I pleaded for Him to search my heart and prepare me to serve those hungry enough to come out in such numbers. knowing there would be opposition, I prayed that God would remove any blockade in me or others that might prevent the fulfillment of the dream. Finally I searched the WORD to discover promises for strength while bearing the cross.
The Lord sets men in positions of responsibility to carry out not their own will, but God's will. He gives wisdom to those who seek Him and depend upon Him as their Counselor. So long as men represent the pure principles of His government, He will continue to bless and maintain them as His instrumentalities to carry out His purposes concerning His people. He cooperates with those who cooperate with Him.... The test by which Solomon was measured, is used to measure all (MS 81, 1900). {3BC 1131.9}
2 Chronicles Chapter 14
11. God Will Work With Us When We Trust
Him.--[2 Chron. 14:11 quoted.] This is an appropriate prayer for us to make. Our prospects are anything but flattering. There are vast numbers arrayed against the truth, whom we must meet in presenting the light to others.
Our hope is not in our knowledge of the truth, and in our own ability, but in the living God
... There should be ... living faith for the
mighty God to manifest His power, else all will prove a failure. God defeated the enemies of Israel. He put their forces into disorder. They fled they knew not whither. Who can stand before the Lord God of Israel? {3BC 1131.10}
Now we are not warring against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers and spiritual wickedness in high places. The Lord would encourage us to look to Him as the source of all our strength, the One who is able to help us. We may look to men, and they will give us counsel, and yet this may be defeated; but when the God of Israel undertakes work for us, He will make it a success. We want to know that we are right before God; if we are not right before Him, then we want to make an earnest effort to come in right relation to Him. We must individually do something ourselves. We are not to risk our eternal interest upon guesswork. We must set everything right; we must follow out the requirements of God, and then expect God to work with our efforts. 2 Chron. 20:15. God works in us by the light of His truth. We are to be obedient to all His commandments. {3BC 1132.1}
Oh, that we could take this point into consideration, that the work in which we are engaged is not our work, but God's work, and we as humble instruments are laborers together with Him; and with an eye single to God's
glory, not mistake the beginning of the Christian life for its consummation, but see the necessity of training upon the earth to prepare us for doing God's will! We are not to lift up ourselves, not to be self-confident, but to trust in God, knowing that He is willing and able to help us. God will work with His people, but we want to be in that position where our trust and confidence will become firm in Him (RH May 10, 1887). {3BC 1132.2}
3-7, 9, 10. Obedience Brings God's Favor.--[2 Chron. 17:3-7, 9, 10 quoted.] Obedience to the Lord always brings favor,